I don’t know how I drove home from the hospital that day. I was in shock. But I made it home to announce to the world and my world that I was not the perfect being I’d dreamed of being; I was imperfect. The Queen of Wellness (as I arrogantly thought I was) had Cancer.

I’ve always been a perfectionist and still am. I’m actually proud of it.

But now, I am equally respectful for being perfectly imperfect.

So accustomed to unstoppable, vibrant health, it shook me last summer when my digestive system went a bit kaput, and my body showed signs of I-did’t-know-what. I put them down to age, the ‘gravitational pull’ on my organs, collagen depletion, slackness with my brilliant diet, the 3-month prolonged heatwave, and too much sitting (something I’m vehemently against). Without going into any gory details, I concluded it was probably a combo of the above. 

But one thing cropped up regularly enough to see a pattern. Blood. Just now and then, never regular. Ever so tiny pink traces. And after 4 to 5 months, I told myself something ‘must be going on’. Didn’t mention it to anyone else. It was between me and my body only. Because, after all, ‘I am in perfect health’.

 Last summer turned into this spring, and my discomfort increased in various ways. Still, I kept ignoring it and telling myself it must be age. It started to affect my love of sports and hiking.

 And so, my partner and I made a pact to each get a complete check-up. (We are both allergic to doing anything ‘medical’). In March, my GP told me I likely had internal haemorrhoids. Whaaaat????

 Me? Fibrous veggie diet of superfoods and daily sport? Absurd.

It turns out she was right. However, given the irregular blood spots, she insisted on referring me to a Gastroenterologist. 

 Meanwhile, with Homeopathy, Naturopathy, and a few more vital dietary tweaks, the haemorrhoids and blood spots disappeared. Done deal. Back to normal super-energiser-bunny Jenni P and her trail training. I almost cancelled the appointment with the Gastroenterologist.

 But following a first Biopsy in early April, the specialist informed me he had ‘found SOMETHING’. I looked behind me in the consultation office to see if he was talking to someone else but realised he was looking straight into my eyes. Oh shit, yes, THAT sort of something.

 I’d lived for the last six months, especially the last few months, with my reality of ‘I am in perfect health’ shattered. It started to look very much like Cancer and all that entails.

 But something didn’t add up. Perfect health IS my reality and my truth, thingie or no thingie. 

 And so this year, I’ve been on a journey to explore what, why, how, and what next when nothing made sense except tripling my devotion to my well-being.

 The most significant evolution is that I did the inner work to see the ‘thingie’ as a blessing, a gift, and an opportunity.

 It was genuine; I found absolute peace, courage, and a new-found desire to listen to my heart. Above all, I could see the lightness, even the paradox and humour of the situation. 

 And I had literally and metaphorically been sitting on it all the time.

So, by May, it occurred to me that it was time to re-think my business and lifestyle and look deeper at how to follow my heart to a new level. 

My process was to return to my own methodology – the incredible power of The Trinity Code. Every time I have used its wisdom for myself and the dozens of people I have guided, it has re-calibrated me into a more upgraded version of me and my business and an evolution that lights up my heart. 

 Part of that evolution was hosting my first Preeminence Retreat with my VIP clients and how the Trinity Code and Personal Branding work harmonise powerfully in paradisiac places with the experience of true luxury at every turn. (More of that to come). 

After a second biopsy, the specialist confirmed I was in perfect health with no cancer, just a ‘thingie’ to remove under general anaesthesia this summer. 

In early July, that operation happened, and when I came around from the anaesthesia, I rejoiced that this whole challenge was over. Then the doc surgeon came and sat on my bed. He informed me that the thingie removal, a polyp, had been successful. Still, he’d found something else further up the colon. And yes, it looked very much like it was cancerous.

What the actual.

After all that.

Bombshell. Not perfect health at all. However, I did not have any symptoms whatsoever!

But I did have the evidence that life was giving me a big sign and an invitation to look deeply at my shadows and my own BS. 

I did the inner work even more deeply. Journalling constantly and walking miles and miles daily to connect the dots with what had ‘gone wrong’. Your ego can get out of control rapidly when faced with its own BS, and the only way to deal with it is to take it for a long, long walkabout, then sit it down and look it in the eye. Look yourself in the eye.

But a smorgasbord of scratchy feelings permeated. I experienced guilt, imposter syndrome, shame, disappointment that I wasn’t perfect, puzzlement and frustration. Neither the explanations of the surgeon nor my own research nor any metaphysical explanations could assuage me.

Cancer is Cancer, and I had one, and that was that.

And so I began the process of complete renewal. My own 9th Grace of Preeminence. Allowing myself to stop, sit still, be silent, acknowledge and accept. My valiant spirit did not rest on its laurels for long. I quickly saw the pointlessness of remaining in this vibration. I was too much in love with life to let this experience damper my warrior spirit. Screw that. I vowed to do whatever I needed to heal – whatever.

And I re-did my Code. 

The results informed me of something amazing. I needed to change my business model. I needed to serve a different audience. I needed to remember to do everything I’d neglected from months of hustling too much – take more playtime, dance, hang out with kindred sisters, talk to my neighbours, ring my daughters, sit and stare into space, forgiving myself for NOT being perfect. I renewed and am still renewing.

A second operation in early August removed a small, localised tumour; no other treatment was necessary. And now it was – is – time to rejoice. 

I got to reclaim my perfect health after all. I got to turn the page, walk away and know I would be even more vigilant about my health. All of it, mind, body, soul and money, just as I teach.

I got to choose perfect health and follow my heart yet again; this  time in so much gratitude for the fabulous French medical services, the support I’d received, and life itself.

 Compared to thousands of people, my cancer journey was a blip on the horizon of brilliant issima-ness. I was still my best self, even with a kick up the butt for not being perfect in the butt! I never doubted that I was here to do something that would move the world on. I never dropped my rejoicing of all that is precious in life. The experience of being perfectly imperfect showed me how.

 My reality and truth prevailed with the help of my Code. In fact, the Code was part of my miraculous healing.

I’m re-inventing myself again, better than before. I’m ready to take living my dreams to a new level, pause anything that is not aligned for me, and truly rest and play – something I haven’t done for a long time.

Before this fantastic news, one of my besties told me that if anyone were going to come out of this with all guns blazing, it would be me.

 So, step out of the way of anything which doesn’t fit my highest life as my highest self, if you don’t want to get in the firing line.

Thank goddess that I got the darned haemorrhoids and all the digestive chaos to alert me to something that I may never have discovered until it was advanced and maybe too late. 

That is a blessed miracle. A gift. A wise but knowing nod from Source.

 It’s a Brand New Day. I’m in Perfect Health, and I will never again ignore the signs.

 That does not mean I can’t aspire to ideals and lofty values.

 It doesn’t mean I can’t set high standards and hold myself  accountable. 

Is that perfectionism? Not really.

But it IS – ‘Issima’. What is that? Derived from Latin, it’s the Italian way of expressing superlatives.

It means a really, really good version of whatever you put before it. Like Bellissima, Serenissima and Buonissima.

I want to be Jenni-issima. The best version of myself. The ‘Issima ideal’ is a beautiful signpost to lead you to pursue your most ideal life while knowing that whatever is happening, we and it are always imperfectly perfect.